Porn in sixty seconds

If there's one thing better than smut, it's smut uncut. Gives us all a chance to really plumb society's sewers. One rule though: if you're going to promote filth on the public airwaves, make sure you promote to teency-weency kids as well as grown-ups.

That's the Ten network philosophy, anyway.

Episode 1027 in my family's continuing struggle with responsible YV-watching ended in disaster the other night while the kids were watching Inside Idol, the behind-the-scenes look at Australian Idol's performers.

I find Australian Idol about as interesting as watching people get hair done, but it has primary school age kids hooked. The show is rated PG (parental guidance recommended) so we did what any sensible parent should do - watched it with them.

During the show, Ten were flogging much more adult and, frankly, pornographic content, advertising their later movie Cruel Intentions Uncut. Just what you want your little munchkin's watching.

The TV ad for Cruel Intentions Uncut featured the usual confected TV images of erotic attraction: anxious-looking couples getting their tongues wrapped around each other.

Why are they marketing this stuff to primary age kids? Consider the content.

Cruel Intentions is a 1999 remake of that old French book about deflowering a virgin, Dangerous Liaisons. Except Hollywood, and now Ten, have in their wisdom deliberately marketed this remake to teenagers and pre-pubescent kids.

According to the excellent movie watchdog Screenit!, Cruel Intentions features at least 19 f-words and repeated use of such attractive phrases as "pussy-whipped:, "blow job", "bitch"(said of women) and "I'll f- your brains out".

It earned original cinema R-rating for "extreme sex/nudity", continuous and graphic talk about sex, a "pseudo-incestuous" relationship between step-siblings (the two main characters) and homosexual and lesbian activity.

Ready to buy Cruel Intentions for your local primary school library yet? Wait, it has it's humour too.

A guy sees a girl who just visited Australia, seated with her legs spread and asks: "How are things down under?" Boom-boom .We're used to chapter-and-verse depictions of sexual extremities in the under-patronised sectors of the arts community, of course, but TV has a different importance. It reaches and teaches the masses - you, me and our kids, at home. Right there in society;s womb, where the next generation of Australians are being formed.

So what happens when the powerful people - such as YV programmers - choose to ignore their ethical responsibilities by marketing M-rated material during PG time?

Too often, what happens is this: we shrug. We say "That's the way pf the world, what can we possibly do?" Well, getting angry helps.

The total number of written complaints to commercial TV networks over program content from January to March this year was 159.

Boneheads on the Left say that's a tiny number, proportional to the population, and it proves that objections to TV content are not really a serious issue.

Here's an alternative explanation. we increasingly feel powerless to change what we don't like today. So, too often, we don't bother registering an official complaint. But there's still an awful lot we see on TV that causes us concern.

Some parents don't care if their kids watch movies like Cruel Intentions, it's true. So what? Parents are free to neglect their parental responsibilities. It's like lollies. You're free to let your kids rot their teeth by eating whatever they like and never brushing. But if you do, someone will end up with big denatl bills.

And in the long run, it's the kids who'll suffer most. TV is now worse than the cinema when it comes to irresponsible content. Go to the cinema and see the difference. PRE-MOVIE promos for other films nearly always carry the same rating as the movie you are about to see. At a screening of the G-rated My Big Fat Greek Wedding last year, four trailers for children's movies were shown, drawing groans from the largely adult audience.

Sure, this can be tedious for adults. But is it really so b ad for grown-ups to have to tolerate a few rules?

Not when the price of the no-rules philosophy is letting today's networks re-program our kids.