Herald Sun, Thursday 9th December

Two thirds of Australian couples are choosing to live together before marriage. And they're shunning religious ceremonies when they do decide to tie the knot.

The average age for marriage has risen again, from 29 to 31 for men, and from 26 to 29 for women, according to figures released yesterday by the Australian Bureau of Statistics.

There were 106, 400 marriages registered in Australia last year, an increase of 3300 or 3 percent on 2002.

The figures show 74 percent of couples are trying life under the same roof before walking down the aisle, compared with 27 per cent in 1983 and 16 per cent in 1975.

But the commitment of sharing the rent and utilities bills doesn't always materialise as a ring on your finger according to Relationships Australia. "A marriage certificate is not seen as a necessary requirement to living together these days," said Relationships Australia chief executive officer Jan Southgate.

"Whether that's good or not depends on the relationship - some people still have very strong views on marriage being quite different to just living together, there's the extra commitment."

The declining number of couples choosing to affirm their vows in religious ceremonies is reflective of society's changing values, Ms Southgate said.

"There is a general decline in affiliation with organised religion. The church is playing a lesser role in the lives of many Australian families," she said.

Civil wedding ceremonies are becoming more popular because they allow couples to dictate every detail of their big day, said Dally Messenger, principal of the International College of Celebrancy.

Mr Messenger, a civil marriage celebrant for more than 30 years, has married more than 50 couples in the past 12 months.

He said celebrants could assist couples with writing poetry and selecting accompanying music and symbols tailored to represent their relationship.

"We give people choice, while churches must work within their framework," Mr Messenger said.

"In melbourne we've got so many beautiful gardens and other settings in which to be married apart from churches."

The Australian Family Association's national vice-president, Bill Muehlenberg, said the trend towards civil celebrants reflected our increasingly secular society.

He said couples who choose to live together before marriage were placing their relationships in jeopardy.

"Research shows couples who cohabit before they get married have a 50 per cent greater chance of breaking up, if they do get married, " Mr Muehlenberg said.

"There's an unwillingness there to make a formal, public commitment to each other,"

Mr Muehlenberg said couples and singles who waited until later in life to get married risked not being able to have children, contributing to Australia's dropping fertility rate.

"It's hard to keep up with the kids if you're almost the age of the grandparents," Mr Muehlenberg said.

The most popular months to get married in Australia are March and November, the figures showed.